I’m nervous. Some days I feel calm and collected. Other days, anxiety crashes over me like a wave. I try to breathe through it, talk to myself kindly, and keep moving gently forward. I remind myself: this isn’t just a procedure, it’s a big transition. A return to my body. A step toward wholeness.

So I’ve made this list. Not to control everything or get it all “right,” but to bring myself a little more peace. A little more steadiness. It’s here to hold me when I forget what I already know.

And most of all, it’s here to remind me of this quiet truth, over and over:

I am not broken. I am becoming.

Just a reminder to myself before surgery

1. Physical preparation

What to do:

• Maintain stable, moderate activity (which I'm doing perfectly)

• Stop high-core-pressure exercises (Russian twists, heavy planks, etc.)

• Stop Omega-3, curcuma, and other blood-thinning supplements (app. 2 weeks before the surgery)

• Eat nourishing, colorful, light meals with good proteins and healthy fats

• Begin hydration habit: 1.5–2 liters/day (water, herbal tea, broth)

What to avoid:

• Sudden diet changes

• Overtraining or pushing through fatigue

• Alcohol (2 weeks before the surgery)

2. Mental & emotional readiness

What to do:

• Prepare my space for recovery:

  • Low bedside table

  • Pillows for upright sleeping

  • Soft clothes (button-up tops, loose pants)

• Write down my questions for the hospital (pain meds, drains, scar care)

• Practice my mantra daily:
  I am not broken. I am becoming.

• Keep 1–2 close people informed and available for emotional support

• Embrace rest - not laziness, but healing in action

4. Emotional mindset

This isn’t just surgery. It’s a quiet turning point.
Each breath, each pause, and even each tear is part of finding my way forward.

So I carry this mantra with me:

“I am not broken. I am becoming.”

I say it to my heart when it trembles.
I say it to my body when it aches.
I say it softly, even when I don’t fully believe it yet.

3. Medical and practical planning

What to do:

• Confirm:

  • Who drives me home

  • When I'm expected at the hospital

  • Any medications I must/mustn’t take on the day

• Pack my hospital bag:

  • My homeopathic remedies (Arnica and Staphisagria)

  • Lip balm, phone, charger, earplugs, Rescue Remedy

  • Journal or small book

• Make a small “healing schedule” for the first 10 days post-op

What to avoid:

• Googling horror stories (!)

• Comparing my process to others

• Holding back emotions - it’s okay to cry, to fear, to feel

I don’t have to be fearless. I just need to keep showing up, one step at a time.
And that’s more than enough.