Did you know a single word can change how someone feels about themselves?

I’ll never forget when my son came home, proudly showing me a drawing. I said, "You're so talented!" and his face lit up with joy. But over time, I noticed he hesitated to try new things. Worried about failing.

What if I’d said instead, "I love how hard you are trying!” in stead of focusing on the result. Much later, when I learned about Carol Dweck’s fascinating research, I realized what a huge difference it could make.

One of her famous experiments was conducted to explore the power of mindset and how the way we praise others shapes their confidence and approach to challenges. She calls this the "Growth mindset" and the "Fixed mindset."

A growth mindset helps us see challenges as opportunities to learn and improve, while a fixed mindset makes us believe our abilities are fixed and unchangeable. One of Dweck’s most eye-opening experiments shows just how impactful these mindsets can be.

Curious to test how praise influences learning, Dweck and her team explored how different kinds of feedback affect children’s attitudes toward challenges.

Here’s what they did:

A group of kids was given some easy puzzles to solve. After they finished, she praised them in two different ways:

• Effort praise: Some kids were told, "Wow, you worked really hard!"

• Intelligence praise: Other kids were told, "Wow, you're so smart!"

Next, the kids had to choose their next task. They could either try a harder puzzle that might teach them something new or stick with an easy puzzle they were sure to solve.

The results were striking:

• Effort-praised kids: Most chose the harder puzzle. They believed that with effort, they could learn and improve—showing a growth mindset.

• Intelligence-praised kids: Many chose the easier puzzle. They didn’t want to risk making mistakes and potentially looking "less smart"—showing a fixed mindset.

But it didn’t stop there.

When given puzzles that were deliberately too hard, the effort-praised kids kept going. They didn’t give up, even when things got tough. They saw struggle as part of learning. The intelligence-praised kids, however, got frustrated and gave up sooner. To them, struggling felt like proof that they weren’t smart after all.

Praising effort helps us focus on the journey, the process, and the small steps that lead to meaningful growth. It encourages resilience and curiosity. On the other hand, praising intelligence can make us fear failure, adding pressure to always prove ourselves. This experiment highlights how cultivating a growth mindset can transform the way we approach challenges.

Imagine someone tells you,"You’re so talented!" it feels great, right? But doesn’t it also add pressure to always live up to that?

Now imagine they say, "I love how much effort you put into this!" Suddenly, it’s about what you’ve done, not who you are. That feels freeing. That’s exactly what Dweck’s research is all about.

Three lessons I've learned

1. Focus on the process, effort, small steps and life itself, not just the outcome.

2. Stay curious. Try new things, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. You might surprise yourself and inspire others to do the same.

3. Mistakes? They’re not failures—they’re lessons. Every stumble is a step forward. Growth comes from trying, learning, and trying again.

The words we choose hold quiet power—shaping how others see themselves and their potential. What will you say today?

Have you felt this magic in your life? I’d love to hear your story. Let’s share, connect, and grow together.

What About You?

The next time life throws a challenge your way, pause for a moment. Ask yourself: Am I chasing perfection, or am I open to the lessons hidden in the struggle?

Growth is a journey we’re all on together. Let’s share our stories and inspire one another to keep moving forward, one step at a time.