Nietzsche. Too old for pretending, too young to stop.

I didn’t expect to outgrow my own goals. But that’s exactly what happened.

Somewhere between 50 and 60, something shifts. Again :)
You wake up one day and realise you’ve been carrying around a version of yourself that doesn’t quite fit anymore.
Old goals. Old ambitions. Old expectations.
They were good once, but they don’t match the person looking back at you in the mirror.

Nietzsche wrote that “we must become who we are.”
At 25, that sounded poetic.
At almost 60, it feels like the real work.

He also said that inside each of us is a dancing star. Something new trying to be born from the chaos of our lives.
And honestly… that’s exactly how this age feels.
A little chaotic.
A little uncertain.
But also strangely full of potential.

I used to have big plans. Big ambitions.
And for years I pushed myself to stay on track, even when the track no longer felt like mine.

Then stress arrived.
Not the usual kind - the kind that forces you to stop and ask uncomfortable questions:
Who am I without all these goals?
Who am I if I’m no longer performing?
What do I actually want at 60?

Slowly, I realised most of my goals weren’t mine anymore.
They were leftovers from younger versions of me. Old identities I’ve already grown out of.

So I’ve started letting them go, one by one.
Not because I’ve given up, but because I want something truer.

So here I am:
old enough to stop pretending,
young enough to keep becoming.

And somewhere inside, that dancing star is moving.
Slowly, maybe.
But it’s there asking me to pay attention, to shake off what no longer fits, and to step into whatever comes next.

I’m not done.
Not even close.

Nietzsche’s 5 pieces of advice for aging well:

1. Stop trying to be someone else.
This is the age where you finally get to be you. Without pleasing, proving, or performing.

2. You’re allowed to change... again.
Nietzsche believed we’re never “done.”
You can shift direction at 50, 60, 70. Nothing is locked.

3. Drop the goals that feel old.
If a dream doesn’t fit anymore, let it go.
You’re not quitting. You’re clearing space.

4. Amor fati - work with the life you have.
Not the one you imagined at 30.
Meet your reality with curiosity, not disappointment.

5. Trust what’s growing inside you now.
Your “dancing star” isn’t dramatic.
It’s the gentle pull toward what feels honest and alive. Follow it. Dancing star is moving.

This article is part of my series on Aging with wisdom.

Read also:

Advice I wish I'd taken at 35

Cicero would’ve been a great dinner guest

Confucius didn’t rush. Maybe I shouldn’t either

Montaigne. I’m 59. Still curious. Still learning.